Speaking Grace

EPHESIANS 4:29, 31speak-correctly-510

RIGHT AT THE BEGINNING I NEED TO WARN YOU THAT this blog is bound to make you feel uncomfortable. I must say that because, as you shall soon see, Paul’s words in our passage for this week directly expose weaknesses in our communications with others that each one of us have. We all to some degree surely stand guilty before the words from God in this passage.

SINCE V. 30 HAS BECOME SUCH A PROMINENT VERSE IN THEOLOGY, AND SINCE vv. 29 and 31 both involve the tongue, I have decided to do something a little different in our verse-by-verse study of Ephesians this morning. Instead of taking vv. 29-31 together as one passage, I am going to divide the passage into two blogs by putting v. 30 off until next week, writing a blog on “Grieving the Holy Spirit,” and writing to you a blog this week on vv. 29 and 31, entitled “Speaking Grace.” Here’s the whole passage, vv. 29-31…

NAS  Ephesians 4:29-31 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

“SPEAKING GRACE”…. I think it is obvious from just a cursory reading of this passage that God wants believers to guard their tongues and speak in such a way as to reflect His character. That’s a tall order, I think you’ll agree.

“MUCH OF THIS PASSAGE IS CONCERNED WITH SPEECH. The speech in this passage may be seen as the performance of a godly act. You will remember that the first act recorded of God in Genesis was speech.” – Snodgrass…

ESV  Genesis 1:3 And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.

THINK OF THIS: “SPEECH IS ITSELF CREATIVE ACTIVITY, for with it we create worlds – communities of shared discourse – and with it we frame the reality within which we live. Specialists speak of ‘performing language,’ language we use to accomplish tasks or establish realities.”- Snodgrass

HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED THE THINGS YOU SAY TO BE creating realities? That’s a sobering thought, is it not? This morning we are going to consider our language in the pure light of the way God intends it to be.

“WE FAIL TO REALIZE THE POWER AND DIGNITY OF LANGUAGE. Nearly all of our language does things. Words accomplish and establish realities. Words are commitments, and with them we enable and support or diminish and destroy.” – Snodgrass

BOTH VV. 29 AND 31 ARE COMMANDS FROM GOD…

NAS  Ephesians 4:29 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear.

THIS IS THE FOURTH PRACTICAL COMMAND PAUL GIVES in the closing verses of chapter 4. In order to “walk worthy” (v. 1), in order to “put on the New Man” (v. 24), we must – in the power of the Holy Spirit – allow these practical principles to mark our Christian personalities. How are we to “walk worthy”? What does the “New Man” or “New Woman” actually look like? In the closing verses of chapter 4, Paul tells us to “speak truth” (v. 25), to get control of our anger (v. 26), and to work, to work in such a way that we produce good and can give to others in need (v. 28).

“THE ASSUMPTION OF V. 29 IS THAT we either pollute or establish good by the way we speak. Our words either build up or tear down. Consequently, not only should Christians become communication majors, learning all we can about the process; we should be extremely careful how we use the language. Our authority is for building people up – ‘edification’ means building up – not for tearing them down.” – Snodgrass/TAR…

NET  2 Corinthians 10:8 For if I boast somewhat more about our authority that the Lord gave us for building you up and not for tearing you down, I will not be ashamed of doing so.

IN THE LIGHT OF OUR MESSAGE THIS MORNING, EACH ONE OF US SHOULD ASK ourselves the question “do my words generally build up, or do they tear down?” That’s heavy, I know.

SEE WHAT I MEAN WHEN I SAY THIS MESSAGE is bound to cause us all discomfort

“BEING REDEEMED MEANS BEING DIFFERENT.” – Garner

NAS  Ephesians 4:29 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear.

THE GREEK WORD FOR “UNWHOLESOME” (σαπρός [sap-ros]) IS A PARTICULARLY colorful word. It is found only 8 times in the N.T. and only here in v. 29 outside the Gospels. σαπρός (sap-ros) means putrid, foul, rotten; lit. of such poor quality as to be of little or no value, bad, not good; bad or unwholesome to the extent of being harmful, bad, evil, unwholesome [BDAG]. In ancient Greek literature outside the Bible the word “is used of rotten word, withered flowers, and rancid fish.” (Hoehner)

FOR YEARS MERRY AND I WERE IN THE HABIT OF BUYING FLOWERS AT COSTCO almost every week. We live in a condominium where our living room does not get direct sunlight, so we can’t really have live plants, which we would prefer. So we get a bouquet of fresh flowers to bring some color and “nature” into the room. We usually get carnations because carnations are cheaper and because they never stink when they get old. But Merry likes sunflowers, so sometimes I get sunflowers for her. I don’t like them because they don’t last as long as carnations and because they easily stink, especially in hot weather. If you aren’t careful to change the water often, as the leaves turn dark they let off a terrible smell, especially in a closed room when it’s hot outside. I thought of that smell as I was studying this verse last week. σαπρός (sap-ros)…

THERE IS ALSO AN INTERESTING FEATURE IN THE GREEK TEXT DEALING WITH Paul’s way of expressing the command. ”Although Paul is obviously exhorting all believers, he nevertheless uses a singular verb and a singular noun for ‘mouth.’ Scholars believe that this is a particularly Semitic (Jewish) construction in which a so-called ‘distributive singular’ is used to relate to each individual person as a group. The prohibition in the form of the present tense imperative (command) has the force of cessation of activity in progress, hence, Paul is enjoining believers here to stop unwholesome words from proceeding out of their mouths.” – Hoehner/TAR

DID YOU CATCH THAT? Paul is talking about every single word that we speak! You can begin to see where I am coming from when I warn you that this blog is going to make you uncomfortable. It certainly did me last week as I was writing this.

“CONVERSATION THAT IS MARKED BY GRACE HELPS BUILD UP THE NEW MAN in Christ and is a beautiful instrument for the Holy Spirit to use to that end. On the other hand, conversation that endangers the unity of the body of Christ ‘grieves’ the Holy Spirit.” – Bruce/TAR

NAS  Ephesians 4:30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

AS I MENTIONED EARLIER, WE WILL LOOK CLOSELY AT V. 30 NEXT WEEK. One thing I’ll add right now about this well-known verse is that when it is taught, its context is seldom mentioned. The context of “do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God” is unwholesome speech.

“A POWERFUL MOTIVATION FOR PUTTING OFF UNWHOLESOME TALK IS that not to do so will ‘grieve the Holy Spirit of God. All sin is painful to God, but sin in His children breaks His heart. When His children refuse to change the ways of the old life for the ways of the new, God grieves.” – MacArthur

“EDIFICATION” IN V. 29 MEANS “BUILDING UP” “Our speech should build up by being helpful, constructive, encouraging, instructive, and uplifting. Sometimes, of course, our speech must be corrective; but that, too, is edifying when done – and received – in the right spirit.” – MacArthur/TAR

“ACCORDING TO THE NEED.” The words “of the moment” have been added by the translators for the sake of clarity. I tend to think the meaning is clear without the added words: “according to the need – whatever the need may be.” The ESV translation employs the phrase “as fits the occasion,” and the NET Bible personalizes it by saying “but only what is beneficial for the building up of the one in need.” Surely we can all agree that Paul has people in view. But again, I respectfully suggest that “according to the need” – period – covers all the bases…

NAS  Proverbs 25:11 Like apples of gold in settings of silver Is a word spoken in right circumstances.

AND NOTE THE LITTLE WORD “THAT” (ἱνα [hee-na]) AT THE END OF V. 29. You might remember from last week that I emphasized the importance of this little word. This little word (usually – almost always) tells us the purpose of the main verb: “that it may give grace to those who hear.”

“SPEAKING GRACE”…

“AS PAUL HAS ALREADY NOTED IN V. 15, THE MATURE CHRISTIAN NOT ONLY speaks the truth but speaks it in love. Raw truth is seldom appropriate and is often destructive. We have been saved by grace and we are kept by grace; therefore we are to live and speak in grace. Just as grace characterizes God it should also characterize His children.” – MacArthur

IT SHOULDN’T SURPRISE US TO LEARN THAT JESUS SPOKE WITH GRACE…

NAS  Luke 4:22 And all were speaking well of Him, and wondering at the gracious words which were falling from His lips; and they were saying, “Is this not Joseph’s son?”

GRACIOUS WORDS SHOULD CONSISTENTLY FALL FROM OUR LIPS AS WELL. Paul said in Colossians 4:6…

NAS  Colossians 4:6 Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned, as it were, with salt, so that you may know how you should respond to each person.

SALT, AMONG OTHER THINGS, IS A PRESERVATIVE THAT KEEPS FOODS FROM becoming rotten.

WHEN WE ARE FILLED BY THE SPIRIT – that is, when we are submissive to and controlled by the Holy Spirit – this is possible. On our own, in our own strength, it is not. God uses our graciousness – the graciousness that God has given to us through our faith and obedience – to draw others to His grace.

WHAT THE UNWHOLESOME SPEECH OF V. 29 MIGHT CONSIST OF IS SPELLED out in greater detail in v. 31 (from Bruce)…

NAS  Ephesians 4:31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

PAUL SAID MUCH THE SAME THING IN COLOSSIANS 3:8…

NAS  Colossians 3:8 But now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth.

THE GREEK WORD FOR “ABUSIVE” (αἰσχρολογία [ai-skra-la-gee-a]) is a particularly strong word that means speech of a kind that is generally considered in poor taste, obscene speech, dirty talk [BDAG]

THE UNWORTHY SPEECH OF EPHESIANS 4:29 IS SPEECH THAT HAS some quality of malice about it. Malice is nastiness, meanness. It is speech that is marked by “bitterness”…

“BITTERNESS” IS FROM A GREEK WORD (πικρία [pik-ri-a]) that refers literally to a plant that produces inedible or even poisonous fruit.

“WRATH” IS THE GREEK WORD θυμός (thu-mos), which means a state of intense displeasure, anger, wrath, rage, indignation [BDAG].

“ANGER”IN V. 31 IS THE GREEK WORD ὀργή (or-gay), which, very similar to wrath, means a state of relatively strong displeasure, w. focus on the emotional aspect, anger [BDAG].

THIS WAS THE WORD WE STUDIED TWO WEEKS AGO FROM V. 26…

NAS  Ephesians 4:26 Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,

THIS SECOND MENTION OF ANGER IN THIS SAME SECTION SUGGESTS THAT anger is a real problem with humans, including Christians, and that claiming our anger is justified or righteous is probably as rare as it is difficult (from Bruce).

THE GREEK WORD TRANSLATED “CLAMOR” IN V.31 (κραυγή [krau-gay]) is a word that means shouting, as in a heated argument.

“SLANDER” IS THE GREEK WORD βλασφημία (blas-fay-mee-a), a word that is used often in the Bible to describe disrespectful speech toward God, means any speech that denigrates or defames; it is reviling, denigration, disrespect, slander [BDAG].

PAUL TELLS US WE ARE TO “PUT AWAY” ALL THIS UGLINESS in our speaking…

NAS  Ephesians 4:31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

“PUT AWAY” COMES FROM A GREEK WORD (αἴρω [ai-ro]) THAT “MEANS fundamentally ‘to lift with a view to carrying,’ but also means ‘to take away or remove’ without the idea of lifting up. As a flood swept away the inhabitants of the earth, so should all these negative characteristics be swept away ‘from you.’” – Hoehner

NAS  Matthew 24:39 and they did not understand until the flood came and took them all away; so shall the coming of the Son of Man be.

THIS WEEK’S BLOG COULD EASILY BE CALLED “THE SINS OF THE TONGUE.” “These particular sins involve conflict between person and person, believer and unbeliever, and, worse still, between believer and believer. They are the sins that break fellowship and destroy relationships that weaken the church and mar its testimony before the world.” – MacArthur

IN PLACE OF THE VICES WE HAVE STUDIED, BELIEVERS ARE TO FOLLOW V. 32…

NAS  Ephesians 4:32 And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

STUDYING THROUGH THESE CLOSING VERSES OF CHAPTER 4 AS I HAVE this past month, thinking through the specifics to the general points behind them, I find myself concluding that the bottom lines may be seen as two: two fundamental principles that lie like twin cornerstones at the basis of the believer’s life in Christ. These two cornerstones, if I may call them that, are kindness and integrity. Kindness and integrity cover all the specific points mentioned in vv. 25-32. Kindness and integrity describe the New Man as he Walks Worthy according to the calling by which he has been called.

“FOUL LANGUAGE OF ANY KIND IS INAPPROPRIATE ON LIPS THAT CONFESS Christ as Lord.” – Bruce

WITHOUT COMMENTARY, I CLOSE OUR STUDY ON “SPEAKING GRACE” BY reading from the book of James, vv. 2-10…

NAS  James 3:2-10 For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well. 3 Now if we put the bits into the horses’ mouths so that they may obey us, we direct their entire body as well. 4 Behold, the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder, wherever the inclination of the pilot desires. 5 So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. Behold, how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! 6 And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell. 7 For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed, and has been tamed by the human race. 8 But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father; and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; 10 from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way.

THE NEW MAN AND NEW WOMAN SHOULD ALWAYS BE ABOUT “Speaking Grace.” It’s an uncomfortable message, a humbling message, but a message – I think you’ll agree – we very much need to hear and to heed…

– Professor Thomas A. Rohm